So my ex best friend just invited me to a lunch at Gold Leaf on Saturday. Call me paranoid, but Im going to break down a number of reasons why I shouldn’t rehash things with her. Firstly, she sent a group message to me, and I’m not quite sure if she meant to invite me, but I’ll let her have the benefit of that doubt. Secondly, the fallout after my USA trip was very damaging, it made me realize that she just doesn’t let go of past things or in her eyes - mistakes that ive made. Also made me realize that if I’m not the way she wants me to be, then theres something wrong with me. But that’s not true, I was quiet in Cambodia because I didn’t want to clash with her, ive had issues with her in the past when we spent a week in qld, we couldnt handle each other for more than 5 days at most. And that fact was obviously on the back of my mind, so I chose to not be as verbal and basically chilled out. So she still thinks that was bad, but trust me it was for both our sakes. Thirdly, she knew just how much I liked him, yet she couldn’t accept the fact why I had to lie about the USA trip. All my other friends understood it when I explained the full story, but she knowing all the history behind my reasons chose to have a fall out just based on that one lie.
Fourthly, her birthday was last week and I was not invited, to me that was a very defining moment. That was a pinnacle moment in both our lives I reckon, she chose the path that led me away from her and I was fine with that, I had my friends at work to talk to and they made it ok for me <3
I moved on.
So they are all my cons for not wanting to be friends with her, not to mention the fact that Specs and Du-du hate her guts, im not even exaggerating. They both cant stand her. But since Specs is out of my life now, and Du-du is my brother, is it really important to consider his feelings? although he was very glad when I told him we were no longer friends.
Now for the reasons I should be friends with her.
We shared a lot of times/memories together, we did use to have a great time when we went out. I think it was actually me, that stopped enjoying our nights out, I cant really think of a good reason why, I just stopped enjoying it.
I need my old friends back, I lost too many friends this year to let the people that were once close to me let go. So maybe I should take this opportunity to rehash and maybe things will go back to the way they used to be.
I learnt never to hold grudges and by not taking her up on this offer would mean that I would be holding a grudge and im pretty sure shes testing me, so if I don’t show up to this lunch that would probably be the ‘official’ end.
Im losing my best friend at work, I need someone to talk to. I don’t know how I ended up on this side of the glass, its like a bad divorce where she got the kids and the house and I just ended up with the dog. Its just not the same.
In the end I have a feeling I'll be heading over to that lunch, I might be as vocal as they have ever seen me, I'm going to take a leaf out of my friends book and not go into hiding.
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